Tag Archives: music

Don’t Make Me Do Research

Oh, my goodness.

I had great plans on writing a post about church budgets, Communion and tarot cards, but a co-worker blow-up caused me to want to write about music at work, but alas, I don’t want to do that now. There is no use complaining about the denial of access to brain-saving devices if no one is there to reverse the decision.

I am still coping with the effects of the accident. I get so tired, yet as I am the only one able to drive right now, I need to be more attentive. This is affecting my ability to do my normal tasks, like making coffee and climbing the stairs to sort papers. Climbing stairs … please, just the thought causes grief. My mental state was being tested and I think it was going well. I almost fell apart, but thanks to my music and collection of audiobooks, I had come out less battered.

Until the Friday meltdown about the music. This time it was not me.

Step back a bit, for just a moment. One of the saddest results of this accident is my ability to read and type for long periods of time. I need to use email at work and our accounting program is on the computer, but I need to take eye breaks more often. My last post took a few tries to finish. I have needed to use a dimmed screen to and even enlarged the display size on my laptop at home and computer at work. Reading from books will come back, I hope. In most cases, the fonts are too small for me to read for long periods of time. My doctor does not think this sidestep is permanent. If I had a concussion, it was a very mild one and is healing quite well. He knows I have to drive and told me to make sure to do it in stages.

I give Richard a lot of credit, he is ready to go back to work tomorrow (10 Jan). I do not think I am ready yet, but there is nothing physically wrong with me. Mentally, I am a shambles, but not bad enough to take leave. Now that the one solace I have at work has been taken away, I am afraid of going mad; again.

I have to speak the words: “it is going to be okay” out loud so I can believe them.

Oh, there will be a post about church budgets, Communion and tarot cards (a continuation of a previous report I put up), but it will be less angry and may include videos of cats.

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Filed under Health Check, Mental Illness, Musical Fruits, Work

Juss Cuss

If you feel you don’t fit in with a group, whether it being your workplace, a family function, or a Facebook collective, please remember that you were hired, born into, or invited for a reason. In some cases, the very people who roped you in may feel the same way. I am not saying you should do a survey, but I have a sneaking suspicion I am pretty close.

You may have people tell you to adjust your behaviour, yet it seems the one who has served thirty years at the same job (for example) did not get the same message. This may be true, but you also don’t know what changes they’ve made before you arrived on the scene; they may have been a lot worse. Stuff went on before you/me arrived. That is not to say we do not need some improvement, only thing to do is review the criticism (as this is what it is 98% of the time) and take stock of what can be changed versus what you think should be changed. Remember, you may feel you are in a place that is the personification of inbred cocker spaniels doing human things, but your introduction may have off-set the balance. You may have to re-calibrate yourself at first then slowly introduce your real self.

Goodness gracious, change can be good … for everyone. Speaking on a personal level, I am so lucky to have been able to express my innermost feelings (at a price), my dreams (no matter how far-fetched), and my artistic abilities (relating to finished projects). Take pride in change, even the bad ones. Of course, the bad one is not good, but the good one will not be bad.

I am not the same person I was two years ago or five days ago. We all have something holding us back and something pushing us forward. I have made concessions, agreements, and promises – some of these welcomed, some through sheer disapproval. Now, you know that not everyone will like you, and in turn, you will not like them. That is part of human nature. Actually, not all lions get along, so it is a NATURE thing, human or Panthera leo. Do not be upset; yet on the flipside, do not be the one upsetting. The thing about relationships is sometimes it is not about you, me, him, or her. Other times is is always about you, me, him, or her. Developing a good relationship comes with altering behaviour and accepting behaviour.

Forget the saying “walk a mile in someone else’s shoes.” That is a ridiculous concept. You should be prepared to support, or as I do, carry people in your heart. You cannot experience a person’s joys and sufferings, and they cannot do the same for you. We are only witnesses to each other’s happenings, whether we are physically there or we hear about it over the waves. Compassion is the key to surviving the relationship thing. When I was a practicing Christian, I found it more difficult to care about someone, for fear I was doing it wrong. No, I take that back, I cared differently. Now that I have stepped aside, I see compassion exists. There are people who I have worked with who believe in the power of the Ouija even though it is a made-up game. I giggle, but I have learned not to mention this out loud. I have seen charitableness in a thousand-million forms from my Christian brothers and sisters with no judgement (well, maybe a bit, but they are human). My Atheist and Agnostic cohorts are some of the first to step up and help someone in need. That is awesome!

It is also a crutch.

We all have background things to deal with, some are more frontal than others. I am not afraid to share. Hey, it’s all part of healing. I have learned to be nice to everyone, obvs. I have also learned to carry secrets. I have experienced high-school behaviour amongst forty year old adults. We all have. Granted, some of us are guilty of being one of the accused. Be honest. 

Please, let’s all just be good to each other. Stop collecting info on Facebook, start collecting Pokémon. I do not have the capacity to work at your high-speed level. You may not be able to comprehend the works of Geoffrey Chaucer. Teamwork, I think is the word I am looking for. We are in this together, but sometimes others are more enthusiastic than their partners. Punishing a friend or a co-worker for a meltdown is not how we are supposed to get things done.

Humiliation is not the key to compliance. I do not like a clean desktop (the one on a desk not a computer). You may not like photographs in silver frames. As I mentioned earlier, we need to accept the fact we need to make adjustments, we have quotas to fill, we have cupcakes to make, and sometimes the procedures change. Like living in a new city, we have to learn to read a new map.

We need to rely on each other to make sure the squeaky wheel gets greased. We need to follow the rules, yet be prepared to change things up. We all have gifts and skills along with issues and problems. If a co-worker does something to piss you off, say something. Don’t shun and play favourites; it makes you look silly. It is up to us to encourage each other and break down barriers.

By breaking down barriers, I do not mean break the coffee pot.

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Filed under Atheists Are People Too, Family and Friends, Fretting Muchly, Just Because ... Everyone Has This Kind of Moment, Musical Fruits, Progressive Christianity, Work


I had an interesting experience yesterday.

I was going through another day of fretting, which led to a night of fretting. Today (Tuesday, 9 February 2016) seems to nothing but ill-fitting underwear. Not fretting about that because those I can change. Well, not if I am at work. I do not make it a habit to carry an extra pair of panties to work. Should I?

Yesterday was a prime example of humans being people.

I have been suffering with a cold that I think I received through conversing on the Internet. I am certain. Yes, Richard has a cold as well, but I do not want to blame him. It is much easier to accuse an inanimate object than my husband. Whilst sitting at my desk going through a coughing spree, I was asked by a person seated in the visting section if they needed to get their gun.

How do you respond? I did not say anything. Maybe this added to my already compounding anxiety. I only waited for the coughing to subside so I could continue to eat my chocolate bar. If I was not worrying about something else I would have said something. I am not very good at multitasking. I am surprised someone would have the nerve to say something like this, especially in a public space. Then again, I highly doubt I will ever be in a private place with this person.

Hopefully my massage tonight relieves some of the pressure. My friends have been kind enough to shower me with awesomeness in the way of music and jokes, and for that I am thankful.

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Filed under Fretting Muchly, Just Because ... Everyone Has This Kind of Moment, Musical Fruits

“We Are One”, Young Artists Day, and Bartolomeo Cristofori

This post is gonna be a-longen.

Today has been a busy day for celebrations. I will not, however, mention the Star Wars one. It was fine for the last couple of years, but now it has to stop. Thankfully it will only be for today.

For me today was all about music. As I work the front desk at work I am not able to listen to the radio. That is OK. I get an hour lunch, which I spend reading the many stories and anecdotes on the Beeb. Channel The Third, that is.

Today was special on a homebase musical front. It was Music Monday. This day is set aside to remind students of the value of learning music in school. I always valued music in school, even getting in trouble from my Kindergarten teacher for wanting to sing instead of doing work. Check out this page to get the full meaning of what music in the classroom is all about:

Music Monday

I became interested in piano when some friends took piano lessons from a woman, Mrs Apple, who taught during lunch hour. I was mesmorised. Though I knew we did not have a lot of money, my parents agreed to make the investment to buy a piano. From Grade Three until the end of university that piano served me well, and I, it.

Neither my elementary school or high school offered a band program. I was not interested (at the time) in learning a brass or woodwind instrument. I did not like the uniforms of the Lions or Police Junior bands. I am not devaluing my music teachers in school, as they taught with what they had. As I stated earlier, funding was a bit tight, so band was not an option.

The Coalition for Music Education would have been wonderful for kids like me. It has been around for ten years, and today on Music Moday we celebrate the Music Monday Anthem written by a 16 year-old Connor Ross:

Music Monday Anthem – “We Are One”


Today on the BBC 3 side of things (UK Bank Holiday as well) there is Young Artists Day:

Radio 3 – Young Artists Day

On my breaks I had the opportunity to listen and read some great stories about young adults creating life experiences through music, art, dance, film, photography, literature, and so much more.

These young men and women make me suffer from at least one of the seven deadly sins – envy. My compositional skills, as mentioned by Dr Schudel, were “severely lacking, somewhat.” Yes, the drive and the want were there, but I was not (and still not) able to accomplish nearly what these talented young people have.

When I finally got to take Brass and Woodwind Techniques in university, I realised I should stick to piano.

Again, it is not the fault of a teacher, a professor, or a parent. I just think my attempts make for better stories and songs than they would if they were finished. I love these young women and men.

Finally, we celebrate the 360th birthday of Bartolomeo Cristofori, the man who has been credited for inventing the piano. I don’t normally celebrate birthdays of people who have passed on, including family (yes, that will get a right sour face from those still living); however, the idea of creating an instrument that would be part of some of the best music in the world is something worth commemmorating.

Bartolomeo Cristofori – ‘Who invented The Piano?’ (1)

I have stated before that I am not very keen on listening to piano music, but I love playing it. A good friend from university, a piano major, would not listen to piano music at home because it would make her physically ill. I am not that bad, thankfully, but I do understand. Computer gurus often spend time away from the computer at home.

I had made the attempt to relearn the piano, but with recents events at my old church, the practice piano had become not an option. Mum and dad gave me the old keyboard from my church in Regina. I took it out of the case, stared at the keys, then made my way to put it back in the case. I see it in the basement and I think I need to try again.


I will never be a concert pianist, not with only having Grade 2-and-a-half of Royal Conservatory training.

To end my little discussion, I will leave you with this debate. Luckily I did not get into this deep a debate in uni, as I don’t know how I would have survived. In the end, it is not something worth arguing over:

Fortepiano vs Pianoforte

(1) The Guardian, ‘Who Invented The Piano?’. 2015. Web. 4 May 2015.


Filed under Arts and Mines, Contentment, Historical Cool Stuff, Hobby Go Wild, Musical Fruits, Writing and Reading

BBC Radio 3 Told Me to Make Coffee




I did not get my coffee made until after listening to the reason I was up so early (just after 5.00 am). One of my favourite shows on BBC Radio 3 is Music Matters, which starts at 5.15 am CST. With the seven-hour time difference from Britain listening to radio programmes can be a bit complicated.

*sad face*

Today is #RecordStoreDay2015, as promoted by BBC Radio 3 and every single person on the planet. Unfortunately, I am unable to physically participate in the happy party as I do not have access to a record shop in Waldheim and a record player in my home (which is also in Waldheim). I do have a collection of purchased and inherited vinyl. I hope that still counts. Please say ‘yes’. Please!

I happened to go to HMV in Saskatoon on Friday and discovered the records available for purchase. I found a number of Pink Floyd, Led Zeppelin, and Otis Redding reissues for $35 to $40. I can get the same albums for $12 on iTunes. I am not going to file a complaint about the over-priced specialty albums, like the ones released by Ed Sheeran, Maroon 5 (if they have any) and the suchlike. I do have to point out that the need to release elpees should not just be for show or marketing, but for actual listening pleasure. Seventeen year old girls buying a vinyl album by Justin Bieber are not going to use their grandmother’s record player to listen to his sweet soulless sounds. I say ‘grandmother’, as their parents are most likely the same age as me – 40. And from my unscientific poll, anyone under the age of 40 no longer has a record player.

I have been looking for a turntable. The husband is not interested in such a machine, which rather bothers me. I have records that I have purchased that I wish to someday listen to. Sadly, the cost of a decent turntable and speakers are a bit of dollar; some systems going into the thousands. The best thing for me is to look through the charity shops, garage sales, and estate sales. My fear of the used system is this:

I am looking for something like this:

I am not too worried about sound quality. I listen to my iTunes collection on my laptop with the speaker that came with it. I have not need for expanding treble and bass options, just something that will help get the sound out. If I need to take a class to figure out what all the dials and buttons are for, I would rather forget it. I also need a space-saving device, as our house is not size-equipped for a monster of a system. I need one that will work in my craft room. Well, I call it a room, but it is actually just a collection of tables and a chair:

2015-04-18 09.47.09

(The water softener on the far-left will be moved in about 25-30 years, and the Ovaltine and the Swifer will be moved at the same time as the water softener.)

As most celebrate today with a sweet record find, I will celebrate with staring longingly at the ones I have previously acquired:

2015-04-18 09.38.14

Now, what you see here is all I have, and I hope I soon will an active participant, expanding my collection of awesomeness.

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Filed under Musical Fruits


There are moments I lose sense of reality.

In these moments I say or write things that, in all ways wrong, hurt people; this as a way to make a point. I understand it is wrong, and I have to convince myself that it is going nowhere. The people these comments are geared for don’t care. You would think moments like this would lead to more prayer. Yes it does, but not for the reason you think.

I am making great steps to fix wrongs, the one action we have been asked to do by our Lord. Part of that is by my associations. Part if this is by action. I also have started to realise that everyone has moments of uncomfortableness, as pointed out to me by a friend. I see posts of family anger quite regularly (some from myself). A while back, I would have unfriended a person who ranted about a personal issue; now, I take note to include them in my prayers, and take it as their right to do this.

I am guilty of airing my personal grievances, which is my right. Authors are given prizes for characters flawed and shattered, but in turn we chastise those who air a real life story. We see reports on the news about the lives of ordinary people going through extraordinary things – good and bad. Granted, the Olympic sob-stories are getting a bit over-the-top. We seem to accept adversity and awesomeness if it happens to someone we don’t know.

You can choose to ignore or you can choose to support. I have been doing the latter lately, and it feels good. It will take me a lot to let someone go. Though some quicker than others. I pray for forgiveness, but also for grace, which I don’t deserve.

Please stop comparing my behavior to someone you don’t like or those who have passed on. There is no chance for defense. That is defeating the purpose and not much help in the end. I admit I have heard, but I do not listen. I do not believe everyone hates me. I do not think something is owed to me. I do not think I am better than everyone. I want compassion. I want recognition of my humanness.

Yes, I have spent a lifetime apologising. Yes, you have told me to stop – about thirty years too late. I do not lay blame on what I am and what led me here, as there is no point. We need to move forward. That is tough to do when you are doing it on your own.

Maybe I need to release myself from all of this; find people who understand what I am going through. Oh, that is not going to be difficult at all. That is not sarcasm. Now that I think of it, reading and writing (and now music) are my only connections to everyone. Has my reading mateial taken me away from everyone? Yes. Is that a good thing?

I don’t know. I want acceptance of being a little bit different than everyone.

Maybe yes.

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Filed under Progressive Christianity

‘Admiring the Shoes You Wear’

I am groovin’ right along to my muz-ak!

In order to alleviate some boredom, I would like you to comment on this blog. To make it fun, please incorporate a lyric from one of your favourite songs in the comment itself. To make things legal, please name the artist, the song title, and album. This will be a great insight on what my readers appreciate in the musical side of the planet. One of us may even find something new to take a listen to.

In fact, I would like some of you (as I pointed out earlier on Facebook and Twitter) to go to Noise Trade, SoundCloud, Bandcamp, or even iTunes (I did not share the link here, as each country/territory has its own version) to listen or download a band or an artist you have never hear of. The sites I have listed above have a ‘search’ mechanism to help you look for a style of music you are interested in. A good number of artists offer free downloads, so take advantage and leave a positive comment,  ‘like’, or even share the link. I also recommend purchasing some music as well (some prices are as low as $1). I often share links to bands and artists that I found on these very sites. I have also found some great music from members of groups and solo artists that follow me on Twitter. Facebook and Twitter has turned into accesses to new-fashioned jukeboxes.

If you are not comfortable leaving a song reference, or do fear teasing – that is okay. We are all friends here. If you are a fan of Dido, go for it. I may tease about Justin Bieber (quite a bit actually), but you are a human being and have been given the gift of free-will, so chose Justin. If a song does not come to mind, leave a quote from your favourite movie, book, or TV show. The same rule applies regarding citing a book, a TV, or a personal quote. We do not want to step on bad ground. If you are not sure where the quote comes from; Google it. That works for me every time, or at least the odd time I have to check a quote.

I will say that I will not tolerate words of hate against the disabled, women, men, race, religion (Christian, Muslim, or any other), and sexual orientation. You are more than welcome to quote from a political-laced song from the Manic Street Preachers or a line from George Orwell’s 1984. With that said, remember this is a fun experiment, so more-thought provoking elements may have to wait a bit.

The title I chose for this experiment is a line from ‘Bienvenido’ by Mark Morriss, found on his album Memory Muscle.


Filed under Musical Fruits