Oh, my goodness.
I had great plans on writing a post about church budgets, Communion and tarot cards, but a co-worker blow-up caused me to want to write about music at work, but alas, I don’t want to do that now. There is no use complaining about the denial of access to brain-saving devices if no one is there to reverse the decision.
I am still coping with the effects of the accident. I get so tired, yet as I am the only one able to drive right now, I need to be more attentive. This is affecting my ability to do my normal tasks, like making coffee and climbing the stairs to sort papers. Climbing stairs … please, just the thought causes grief. My mental state was being tested and I think it was going well. I almost fell apart, but thanks to my music and collection of audiobooks, I had come out less battered.
Until the Friday meltdown about the music. This time it was not me.
Step back a bit, for just a moment. One of the saddest results of this accident is my ability to read and type for long periods of time. I need to use email at work and our accounting program is on the computer, but I need to take eye breaks more often. My last post took a few tries to finish. I have needed to use a dimmed screen to and even enlarged the display size on my laptop at home and computer at work. Reading from books will come back, I hope. In most cases, the fonts are too small for me to read for long periods of time. My doctor does not think this sidestep is permanent. If I had a concussion, it was a very mild one and is healing quite well. He knows I have to drive and told me to make sure to do it in stages.
I give Richard a lot of credit, he is ready to go back to work tomorrow (10 Jan). I do not think I am ready yet, but there is nothing physically wrong with me. Mentally, I am a shambles, but not bad enough to take leave. Now that the one solace I have at work has been taken away, I am afraid of going mad; again.
I have to speak the words: “it is going to be okay” out loud so I can believe them.
Oh, there will be a post about church budgets, Communion and tarot cards (a continuation of a previous report I put up), but it will be less angry and may include videos of cats.