Moving Still

Good day, classmates.

If you have been following me on Facebook and Twitter, you may have discovered I am going through a bit of time as of late. Please be aware I make it sound so much more dramatic in writing than in person. My insides, though, are much like my writings.

I am just about at a possible forever home on the work front thing. I have never been more nervous about having to prove my worth than I am right now. Maybe that is causing some of the extra-crazy anxiety. At the same time, I think I may be catching my triggers sooner. I know I cannot control the events and people around me, only control myself in those situations. I have become more cynical in the way I read the behaviour of others. That has also reflected on my reactions to posts (as an example) that seem too unreal.

Sensibility?

Not everyone is trying to hack your phone; there might have been an update. Sure, there were incidents of Facebook users having issues recently, but I have not discovered a second version of me asking to be friends. I may have lucked out on this one.  Oh, goodness, I have a history of milking things, primarily related to House music, parental elements, memes, mental health, and apostrophes. I understand, seeing this from my perspective, how ridiculous it must be to others. I can only apologise for causing uncomfortableness.

“Wendy, just STFU.”

I am still going to write about my awful days and people can choose to ignore it. God, I do this too much, I know it. I only need to understand how to make these days sound more positive. Yes, bad stuff can be somewhat reasonable. Okay, not everything bad can be good, I am not naive. No, there is a way to deal with this – on my terms. I like to share stories, and sometimes I ask for ideas, which is fair. Not advice, that is for asking how to get red wine out of white bed sheets. As I have mentioned before, we all have levels of unevenness when it comes to the brain-thinking process, and that is what makes us such great friends.

Let’s make a deal: if you can love me being passive-aggressive and okay with me liking David Guetta, I will okay with you liking The Shins and loving you through your discussions regarding your fears about Brexit.

HEY!!!

Good day, my classmates. As promised, dear Tony, I have included a NO song in my next installment:

I did my random-pick-a-song thing. Tony, my dear Tony, I hope you are okay with this one. 😄 I quite like the shoulder dancing bearded fellow. Much like most music I listen to, I don’t have a clue about the players involved. That is not to say I do not try to research and get all crazy-obsessed over a group or an artist; no, I do that too much.

I am still writing my stories – you can follow the progress (excuse the pun) at Wenda Writes. Musicating (the processing and reworking of music into listenable formats) is coming nicely. Let’s say that I LOVE to copy and paste. It took we about 26 hours to do the Violin I part of Tchaikovsky’s 1812 Overture; however, I now have a template for the other instruments so the time will be cut by a few seconds. All my projects – some completely unfinished – are going according to a plan which I still have to write. I am slowly finding joy in these processes, even the ones that will never be finished. I am working on this for my friend Phoenix. Phoenix Love and his wife Mo Love have a band called Go Satta. This is one of my favourite tracks. Phoenix, you have no idea how much I adore you, your family and your fight for goodness. Thank you!

I thank George Mihaly for the introduction. Sir, you have helped enlighten my life; thank you!

On the brain-wave front, I have joined a counselling group to get the coast clear. Well, at least clear enough that I do not need to have the windshield wipers on 24/7. Just one more thing to add to my interesting life CV. I am finding humour in this for some reason. Or is it relief? I think it is relief. The sessions may not work out and I understand that is just one way to deal with my issues.

Maybe this will help me become less needy. Or less whatever. What is the word I am looking for?

I am writing this on a Wednesday, sitting in a pub. I have started to take the bus to and from work, testing to see if this works out once my situation in the job-front evens out. Oddly enough, I have less stress over this than I expected.

Yeah, just like normal.